The Unknown : What does it want?

Whatever I am doing now, why am I doing this? People may say : it is destiny, it is written, because the god want's so, because I want so, because  am supposed to do that at this moment, because I don't have anything else to do or I am stupid to waste time analyzing all these, etc. What I really wanna know what exactly I am doing and why?

In this world I have one answer that I have my own dream and I am doing things to achieve it in the best way. But the question is : why do I have or don't have any dream? What about dreams or living or success or path of achieving it or happiness or revenge or anything like that?

What I know about life is : We are born. We do activities then we die. Then again we are born, we act, we die. Life-action-Death. So, there are trillions of babies coming to life, growing up and living their purpose driven life and then dying. Generations after generations are following the same. Rebirth - decline.We are aware of this cycle of life and death. We are also aware that we are leaving a mark no matter how big or small it is. Among the generations, only lifestyle has changed and will keep on changing. Materialistically, there are proves that humans have achieved a lot from discovering planets to exploring them, discovering under sea creatures, building spell-bounding creations, exploring all the aspects of world and life, etc. Then the generation dies and the next generation drag it to next level. The present generation is taking care of the past and present and the future generation will do the same. The cycle of living earth.

The life span we are having, what are we doing does matter.....atleast for us, for our parents or those who are close to us. But what about it?  Things are mortal, they are forgotten and so are the feelings. Some stories are eternal and some personalities are immortal. But, is there any guarantee that future generations will follow the same? Will they like our achievements or life style or thoughts and philosophy? Everything keeps on changing as per the cycle. But what about the cycle? Why is there this cycle? What is being achieved? What is the point of the calendar and counting days? It is only momentary pleasure of meeting someone, celebrating anniversary or new year, etc which we call being realistic, running after money, calculating time, making special arrangements for closed ones, etc. 

We know a lot about history. They did not know how to write that's why we don't know who are those great personalities of whom we should have build statues or followed. Our future generation may reject our ideas and destroy our records because they may think they are far more advanced than us. And I am not talking about our immediate future. The change will be gradual.

Ultimately what is being done? We are starting from a point and ending at the same. Our displacement is 0.  Is it a cycle or a never ending loop? What does the unknown want? Why is it happening like the way it is happening?

PS : It's a open field. I would like to have different views of readers. Thank you.

SHE : Realised Some Unsaid Rule of Life.

She woke up at 11am! Her mother is screaming at top of her voice, "Wake up!! Maid-servant is already in the house! When will she clean your room? You haven't even cleaned your room!!!! Your breakfast is already gone stone cold!" She woke up casually...yawning and stretching. Her mother kept on yelling at her, "Get up fast! Can't you understand that she will not wait for you and carelessly clean your room and go away. The dirt will stay in their original places inspite of cleaning!!!!!! " And her mother started to organise clothes and books in their proper places. Still murmering angrily," Who wakes up this late? Every student wakes up latest by 8am and sits down to study. There is no focus in her. what will she do in her life???? All the time I have to drag her to do this and that. For how many years her father will support her financially? Doesn't she have that conscience that she has become an adult now and in few years she will be needed to support the family!"

"Who cares!", she was thinking while brushing, "Everything will happen at it's proper time. i completely believe in destiny and also trust that it is damn good!", smiling to herself. She was feeling happy at the thought. She brushed and bathed and cleaned her room..the remainings.Her mother had already left to make her hot brunch. She loves her mother. She knows and understands her more than anybody on the Earth. She figured out how to make her mother happy again and went downstairs happily. She saw that maid servant working very casually and observed her mom was still murmering something angrily.

She thought not to disturb her now. She will wait for the right moment. She ate her breakfast and saw her mom making luch for the family. She went upstairs, opened her ipod and maths text book simultaneously. Suddenly she felt more happy. She could feel her elated heartbeat, her body moving with the rhythm, an admiration for lyrics and songs, loving her life. She entered into completely fabulous mood even though everyone was cross with her. She did not cared!

She was thinking, "What do you call that unknown feeling or the reason that makes you happy all of a sudden. For any unknown reason, you want to smile and eventually you are smiling. may be then, suddenly some good memory flashes back. What is that? Who are sending those visuals in your head? God? God wants you to be happy? Is that the reason I am feeling happy?" She was jotting down all her thoughts and in the mean time her mother came in. Seeing that she is not studying and again writing rubbish things in her diary, she practically wanted to throw her and her diary away! But she said nothing. She found it to be useless. She went away.

She was feeling sad about how her mom was feeling but she couldn't help herself from abandoning her happy feelings. She was exploring her own philosophies. And finally, she sat to study. And she studied continously for 6hrs at a stretch with all the positive energy she gathered in the morning. She saw and was amazed at the results that she didn't made a single mistake in maths! It was her own achievement! She understood the power of positivity. She became more hopeful for her life to turn as she wishes for. 

She realised that whatever she does, does for herself. What other think doesn't matter. If she is happy, she is happy due to herself only. She confirmed herself, "No need to worry about anything else. It is so clear that if I am happy, I have the energy to make others happy. And it will happen simultaneously and automatically. It's an effortless ride of life. Being happy. If I am sad then probably I will get irritated by others and others may get irritated by me. Everything depends on me and how I perceive the world. If I am good, I love everybody. If I am bad, I hate everybody." She also understood by her thoughts for her mother," If anybody is not satisfied with her, it is not her problem but if she is not satisfied with the things are going, she will reach out to mend things if that is important to her heart"
She loves her one life that is given to her. And she is not going to waste it! Everymoment is important for her and she is going to use every bit of it.

Loving her thoughts, she went happily downstairs to hug her mother and saw that she was already smiling at her. Probably her mother realised her continous stretch of study. She was proud of her daughter.

SHE : Going to Paris !!!!!

She was not feeling like going to office today. She wanted to sleep more and dream of vacation in Paris. She was fascinated by the streets going to Gucci, Prada, Versache stores and many more world famous designer stores. Suddenly, her alarm rang at infinite decibel levels and she had to wake up wide up. She was completely frustrated and literally wanted to throw away the alarm machine.

She was so into her dreams and world of imagination that she was feeling upset that why would she have to join any company and do a job. She can design clothes and to start with whatever she has!

All of a sudden, she was glad and filled herself with gratitude that she has the talent to design clothes, she has the materials, she has the support of her family and beloved boyfriend, she has everything to start up with but the only problem was the capital. But she did not worried about that. Her motto in life is “whatever I desire from heart, it will happen at the right time”. She keeps on saying that to herself. She does not put any effort for “making money” but whatever work she does seems effortless but most worthy of selling in high price! She has realized this secret of effortless work during her teenage because at that time she did not worried or took stress for anything. Whatever she did, she did it with heart and whatever she did not wished to be happening, she ignored it completely no matter how much big the issue is or whoever big personality was involved it in including her parents. She always followed her heart. Always. Every time, she looked for the guidance of her heart and how she was feeling while doing the activity. If she was happy doing it, she felt it was her destiny and if she felt bad, she will not repeat that in her life ever! She was pretty clear at that age.

But, time changed. She got mingle up with challenges and got lost in the crowd. She followed what other people do and forgot about her heart. How that happened she did not realized but she was not feeling good about it.

Nonetheless, she enjoyed her dreams everyday. But gradually, she came to learn that how a job is important for a fresher. She experienced and learned a lot and that desire in the heart…of being in Paris just kept on getting bigger and bigger! She was surprised to see that within a week she was getting a call from her boss asking whether she could go to Paris for some official business tour! She was so surprised, confused and happy at the same time that she couldn’t reply anything! Atleast, she said ‘yes’ and tears of happiness rolled down her cheeks. She couldn’t understand the coincidence or the magic…all she could feel is...happy for life! She thought she is the blessed child of god! And began to believe more on her thought “Whatever I desire from heart, it always happens!”

SHE : Having a little miracle of Life :)

She was laughing so hard that evening that nobody could miss that hearty leap of joy in every soul present at that party. In whatever condition they were in, each and every one enjoyed the laugh and smiled. Probably, half of them didn’t even know what the subject of laughter was about.
She, on the other hand, was feeling good that she had laughed her heart out. It was giving her positive happy vibes from life and she was realizing that how life can be so simple and vivacious. She was amused. In fact, she eventually forgot the topic on which she was laughing but she cherished the moment of laughter with friends that she seldom has.
………………
She dressed herself in LBD. Put little make up and perfume which was speaking of simplicity with elegance. She did not seek anybody’s advice although her friends were busy commenting each other’s dresses for the party, suggesting make up and accessories and feeling happy about getting ready for the party. She also joined the group and observed. She did not speak anything because she found that nobody was dressing up as per themselves and showing off was their only motto. It was all each other styling each other. She couldn’t found out what to comment and when to comment. Anyways, she neither wanted to judge or comment but made a point that she will smile and say that everyone of us are looking beautiful, gorgeous, pretty and lively. And she knows the reaction: big teeth showing up on everyone’s face!
Somehow, she always felt different. Although she tried to mix up and be involved and friendly but couldn’t find any perfect match. Everybody has a best friend or a companion but she walks alone, always. She only needs her friend(s) to trust her and be loyal to her. Somehow, she can’t find anybody in the crowd of so many people around.
Suddenly, one girl walks to her and discusses about Chetan’s novel, 2 States. It is such a hilarious book and both of them pointing out something or the other in the book, started laughing. She didn’t realize that she was laughing so hard. May be she was seeking some company secretly in her heart and now she has one. She was sharing he laughter with her.
She was amazed to see her mood change. One moment she thought she had no company and was feeling alone but suddenly some funny girl comes along and they laugh like they were childhood buddies and sharing some old joke together! She was amused with her life and all the way, she felt the little miracle happened with her that evening.
After a while, someone calls that girl away. Standing alone again, she realized she is happy with her life. She became hopeful for socializing in a good way rather than thinking too much of how to behave, what to say, what not to say, how to react and worry about awkward situations that can take place. She thought, as that girl changed her mood, she can try and make other people around happy as well. She then went to person to person and chatted with everybody, made others laugh and she enjoyed her life along. She had a wonderful life to remember for!
“Life is a miracle. Enjoy it.”

SHE : Herself

She is a girl who likes o fly and be independent. but never forgets her identity. Never forgets her teachings that her family has given to her. She wants to give back.... to herself, her family, love, country and the world.

She feels like shouting fom the top of the roof to the world, "I AM THERE FOR YOU! WILL YOU BE THERE FOR ME? " But she holds no expectations, even if she does sometimes, she choses to ignore. She is free. Free of grudges, fear, insecurities, outcomes, expectations and everything that holds her back.

She is brave. She is bold. She reasons with every step she takes and believes in herself. She grows everyday as a person...as a dreamer...as a positive every...as a human.

Presently, for, the self growth, she is trying out new things for energy boosting in her mind and spirit. Let's see how things workout for her.

She has started to believe herself.

Earlier, from childhood, she was the subject of comparison in everything for her parents and relatives. Her handwriting is not good like her classmate, she is not sporty enough for other academic exams...etc etc...what will happen to her future? There was no limit of omparison and no boundary of worry for future. She was a victim of 'his-daughter-is-doing-so-good-in-that-field-you-should-also-choose-that' but all the way, nobody cared how she grew as a person. Did she simproved for her earlier self or still struggling at the same platform she was in.

She came to know herself.

SHE : Smiling Back To Her Life

One day, she had to shift her things from one almirah to the other as she bought herself a brand new one. The colour and texture were pretty classy and had original wooden feel in it even though everything was synthesized. 

She loved the scent of her new furniture in her new home. Also loving the background which was solid buff colour with silver lining of lamp sheds on that wall, very new concept that she has chosen. She was feeling glad and proud for herself. Little by little, she is settling down her independent life style. Completely loving her freedom. 

That day was a holiday and she decided to dig into her onld cupboards and empty them, reject the unnecessary items and shifting rest of the things to the new one. With these decision she sat down to open her locker first. Se saw her diaries there. It was nostalgic and she felt very happy touching them and smelling them old. She was not aware that she wrote so much. Somebody had said to her that she writes diaries like a book. Even by event with all details having clear visualisation power. It is a such a time waste, that same 'somebody' has commented, paper waste, pen ink waste etc etc. That comment had both good and bad effect on her. But still, she kept writing. Diary was her all time true friend. It is the naked reflection of her soul. She wrote everything openly in her diaries....her good memories, bad memories, events, situations, comments, feelings, secret intentions, crushes etc etc....just everything. 

There were almost 15 diaries came out of that locker starting from 2004 when she was 13 years old. And other stuffs too like playing cards of Harry Potter, WWE, Pokemon....many greetings cards that she received plus few greetings cards that were meant to be given but due to some reason she couldn't..one American Pie series DVD and other adult stuffs which can't be shared with family members.

She suddenly felt, her life has been so wonderful...she had all the happiness in the world. When there are only happy thoughts coming out of her secret licker, she is feeling successful inside. her childhood, habbit of collecting greetings cards and tokens of memories...the feeling is so wonderful that she sat there motionless smiling back to her life.

SHE : Feeling Homesick?

She had a mixed feeling of sadness and joy today. The thought of being independent is so heart pounding for her that she can never express them in words. It’s her ultimate goal in life. It’s her own freedom that she wants to live in. But she is sad as well. This time, she is sad because she will miss her home. This is the first time that she is feeling homesick and can not understand this feeling. She wants to go out and live her life but her mother’s love and father’s care caught her inside those familiar 4 walls. The thought of her mom’s hand cooked foods gives the warmth that nothing in this life can give to her. It’s not even in the comparison list of anything. The delicious scent, warm gestures and coziness in the air of home, now, she realizes the essence of it. She would remember this date and cherish it.

This vacation was very different in everyway for her. She felt proud. She had many problems with her family due to which she never wanted to return. It was only her family members who dragged her home but she never liked to be back. It made her suffocate. She believed that her interest, life style, thought process and everything is so different from her family that she couldn’t adjust herself more than 2 days. The 3^rd day would always be ending up with high pitch verbal fights.  But this time, she sorted out her problems. She handled it quite with ease. She did not felt burdened with ‘I-don’t-belong-to-this-family’.

Two days before, she sat down to tea with everybody in her family. Mom, dad and her brother who is 11 years younger than her. She asked them what is the problem. Why is that every argument or even simple conversations end up in verbal fights. What does her family expects from her she doesn’t understand. Nonetheless, everything was sorted out. It’s really true that everything can be cleared while sitting and discussing about it.

She understood the feeling of peace in her now. It was a long time that she was struggling with her thoughts about her family. But she took her step and solved it properly. Must say, she is quite smart and brave. Not all child has the guts to clear out things with his/her parents without fights, scolding, crying and much family drama. All that is needed : Brave heart, maturity, understanding and honest feelings.

Suddenly father seems to be more understanding and she sensed that she grew that ‘trust’ feelings in him for her. On the other hand, mother was glad that everything went ok. So, she felt more like home. More comfortable and loved. And she, in her heart, gave her family members that special place again which was vacant since 7 yrs from now.

Now, with a peaceful mind and brave heart, she is going to catch her train for her independent life.

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